The Recovering from Religion organization (RfR) held its annual Fall Excursion in Gatlinburg, TN, this past weekend. This was the first one I’ve attended, as I’m a recently trained volunteer. There were about 55 people in attendance. About 20 of us were staffers or trained RfR volunteers, and most of the rest were clients who came to gain some understanding about their lives as they question or leave their religious beliefs.
I took RfR’s volunteer training last year and started a local support group this past March. The main selling point for me is that they have a hard-and-fast rule against attempting to deconvert their clients (as they refer to people who contact them for help). When I was going through the painful process of deconstructing my former beliefs, the absolute last thing I would have welcomed was someone trying to push me toward nonbelief. Instead, they train their volunteers to listen and provide empathy and occasional perspective, but without offering advice.
The setting for the Fall Excursion was a lodge near Great Smoky Mountains National Park. It had a spacious, well-equipped kitchen, and many of the activities took place in the large living room and dining area.
Once everyone had checked into their rooms and had some refreshments, there was a scavenger hunt, which was an especially exciting activity for the children who had been brought by their parents. Later, we were given an informative talk by Dr. Darrel Ray, the founder and president of RfR, titled “Religious Trauma and Your Brain.” He described how religions hijack the areas of the brain that usually help us avoid the real dangers of the world and subvert them to make us fear nonexistent threats. One example he gave was that some couples who were raised in Purity Culture find themselves unable to consummate their marriages because they’ve been given so much negative information about sexual behavior. He’s given essentially the same talk before on YouTube, and it can be viewed at CP Evergreen Enterprise V1 Couple Race Fam Rooftop EN Video VID 1920×1080 30s 1.
Dr. Ray’s talk the next night was a complement to the first one. He introduced us to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, which is a series of mental exercises one can use to overcome maladaptive thought processes. By practicing these techniques, it’s possible for someone to learn healthier ways to process difficult situations.
Over the course of the weekend, there were three support group meetings in which two trained RfR volunteers met with clients to allow them to discuss their deconversion journeys. I acted as co-host for one of these meetings, and my training and experience came in quite handy. We heard some troubling stories, and our clients were offered empathy and understanding that they may not have been given before.
In addition to the scavenger hunt, there were other activities that gave everyone a mental reset. There was a karaoke session, a guided nature walk, and classes on meditation, dance, and crafting that promoted further connections between the attendees.
Saturday evening concluded with a gathering around a gas fire pit. People were encouraged beforehand to write down messages that were to be consumed by the flames. They could include messages to those who’d harmed them, intentionally or not, or advice they wished they could give to their younger selves. While nobody was required to share what was in the messages they burned, there was some voluntary sharing of traumas that had been experienced. There were tears, hugs, and even laughs, and it felt like some true bonding had happened.
It was a great experience overall. The Fall Excursion is their big gathering of the year, and it may be worth considering attending one sometime. You can learn more at recoveringfromreligion.org or by asking me for further information. RfR is a volunteer-run organization, and even if you can’t attend, it’s a worthy cause that you may wish to support with your donations.
And don’t forget that there’s an RfR support group that meets in North Charleston on the fourth Wednesday of each month. You can find it on Meetup at RfR – South Carolina Chapter | Meetup.
