|Humanist Humor from our Sister Chapter in NYC|
Jehovah's Love Child Born in Barn
EXCLUSIVE TO WEEKLY WORLD NEWS 12/26/00
Turmoil rocked Heaven this morning as allegations arose that Jehovah has had an affair with a young worshipper. The scandal began when a teenager known only as "Mary" claimed she had given birth to "god's only son," in a barn of a hamlet in Bethlehem.
Sources close to Mary reportedly married to an elderly carpenter, claimed she has loved Jehovah for a long time, that she talks about her relationship with "Him" constantly and is thrilled to have "His Child."
In a press conference this morning, God issued a vehement denial, saying: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman....Miss Mary" and that "the facts of this story will come out in time, verily."
Independent Seraphic Counsel Kenneth Starr Beelzebub immediately filed a brief with the Divine Justice Department to expand his investigation to cover questions of whether any Commandments may have been broken and whether Jehovah had illegally funneled laundered money to His Illegitimate Child through 3 foreign operatives known only as "the Wise Men." Beelzebub has issued subpoenas to several angels who are rumored to have acted as go betweens in the affair.
Critics have pointed out that these allegations have little to do with the charges that Beelzebub was originally appointed to investigate, i.e. that Jehovah had created large scale flooding to cover up evidence of a failed land deal.
THE STORY ABOVE COMES IN THE NEWSLETTER FROM www.shsny.org along with many more hilarious items & announcements.