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Author/DatePost
Comfort
Jan 9 2009
The Atheist Starter Kit

[color=#0000BF:23ladzhe]If you are a beginner atheist, there's a belief system you should embrace and a language you should learn, or you will find yourself in trouble. Here are ten suggestions for the novice:

1. Whenever you are presented with credible evidence for God's existence, call it a "straw man argument," or "circular reasoning." If something is quoted from somewhere, label it "quote mining."

2. When a Christian says that creation proves that there is a Creator, dismiss such common sense by saying "That's just the old watchmaker argument."

3. When you hear that you have everything to gain and nothing to lose (the pleasures of Heaven, and the endurance of Hell) by obeying the Gospel, say "That's just the old 'Pascal wager.'"

4. You can also deal with the "whoever looks on a woman to lust for her, has committed adultery with her already in his heart," by saying that there is no evidence that Jesus existed. None.

5. Believe that the Bible is full of mistakes, and actually says things like the world is flat. Do not read it for yourself. That is a big mistake. Instead, read, believe, and imitate Richard Dawkins. Learn and practice the use of big words. "Megalo-maniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully" is a good phrase to learn.

6. Say that you were once a genuine Christian, and that you found it to be false. (The cool thing about being an atheist is that you can lie through your teeth, because you believe that are no moral absolutes.) Additionally, if a Christian points out that this is impossible (simply due to the very definition of Christianity as one who knows the Lord), just reply "That's the 'no true Scotsman fallacy.'" PLEASE NOTE: It cannot be overly emphasized how learning and using these little phrases can help you feel secure in dismissing common sense.

7. Believe that nothing is 100% certain, except the theory of Darwinian evolution. Do not question it. Believe with all of your heart that there is credible scientific evidence for species-to-species transitional forms. When you make any argument, pat yourself on the back by concluding with "Man, are you busted!" That will make you feel good about yourself.

8. Deal with the threat of eternal punishment by saying that you don't believe in the existence of Hell. Then convince yourself that because you don't believe in something, it therefore doesn't exist. Don't follow that logic onto a railway line and an oncoming train.

9. Blame Christianity for the atrocities of the Roman Catholic church--when it tortured Christians through the Spanish Inquisition, imprisoned Galileo for his beliefs, or when it murdered Moslems in the Crusades.

10. Finally, keep in fellowship with other like-minded atheists who believe as you believe, and encourage each other in your beliefs. Build up your faith. Never doubt for a moment. Remember, the key to atheism is to be unreasonable. Fall back on that when you feel threatened. Think shallow, and keep telling yourself that you are intelligent. Remember, an atheist is someone who pretends there is no God.[/color:23ladzhe]

:twisted:

rphoosier
Jan 10 2009
Re: The Atheist Starter Kit

How did the kool-aid taste?

kayaker
Jan 10 2009
Re: The Atheist Starter Kit

Thanks for the Atheist Starter Kit.

[img:3br6c5re]http://openparachute.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/bizarro_atheists.jpg?w=315&h=374[/img:3br6c5re]

Thomas_True
Jan 11 2009
Re: The Atheist Starter Kit

I was going to respond, but my tears of laughter made the monitor all blurry!

U4R1A
Jan 30 2009
Re: The Atheist Starter Kit

Some one sounds a little bitter ... :twisted:

meemoon
Jan 31 2009
Re: The Atheist Starter Kit

Yes, I've seen it so I didn't finish reading it. I can assume the poster was suggesting the presence of atheist "dogma". No doubt,that exits. But as a first post, I wanna say I missed atheist indoctrination. I came to the conclusion that there is no "god" at about 12 years old and have heard or read nothing since to convince me otherwise. I know,or at least believe,that I'm not stupid so the concept of an initial existence of a creative power beyond infinity doesn't escape me. I buy the idea that,intellectually, bronze age humans were as bright as we are so I don't think their religious ruminations were borne of stupidity to be overcome with evolutionary development. So maybe,as a committed atheist,I'm just missing some "wiring". Could be,but my position is,so what? If the belief in "god" was so necessary,how did I manage to live this long (60 years) and not wind up miserable and/or feeling "spiritually empty". And I should also ask "Wouldn't the existence of an all powerful, all knowing god, be seen as a demonstrable fact instead of just a matter of faith?". Religion itself in it's many manifestations was and still is important historically,but the existence of any "god" seems irrelevant and profound concepts (such as gravity,heat,time,etc.) shouldn't be irrelevant to anyone,ever, unless they're nuts. Uh......oh oh!

meemoon
Jan 31 2009
Re: The Atheist Starter Kit

Thanks for the Atheist Starter Kit.

[img:1zdasm3n]http://openparachute.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/bizarro_atheists.jpg?w=315&h=374[/img:1zdasm3n]

Not only does this best describe my lack of beliefs,but I spent almost my entire life in Charleston! Could it be something in the water?

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